Any good stories?

Dating in DC can be interesting. I know I have said that before, but after going to lunch with my friend and laughing hysterically, I feel like I need to give some examples. Lately I haven’t had any dating stories to tell, not even funny ones. However, I have had some rather good stories from years past.

But first, let me tell you what my friend said happened to her. She went out with a guy last year or something during the summer. He had been in the Peace Corp in Romania, near Transylvania. They met up for a drink, she wore shorts and he wore long sleeves and pants. She said he was rather pasty, which isn’t bad just part of the story. When they got inside of the bar, he asked if they could go downstairs to the basement (where it was dark). While they chit chatted over drinks, he asked her what her favorite musical instrument was. She said she was sort of thrown by that question but answered it and then returned the question. To which he answered, the pipe organ! He said that he really started to like it while he was in the Peace Corp! She said the thing that really clinched it for her was that when he smiled she noticed that he had very pronounced and sharp canine teeth. Ha Ha! I asked her if during the date she felt the need to pull out a mirror or get some garlic or something.

I have not had any dates with vampires, but I have had some pretty bad dates. When I was a few years younger and believed I was going through a dry spell in my dating life. (Little did I know it only got worse) I met up with a guy from the internet. After this experience, I learned the lesson of talking to the person online for more then two emails and getting more pictures. But I was young and naïve. I told this guy, lets call him Fry (since his name was almost as bad), to meet me in a public place, I at least knew enough there. When he walked up to me I was a bit disappointed, but I felt bad for having those thoughts and told myself not to be so shallow, he is probably nice. So we headed off to the Natural History Museum. We walked around a bit and the conversation was mostly on his end. I don’t really remember everything he said at the time (it was a while ago). I do remember how I felt, which was BORED! After walking around for a bit, he had to go to the bathroom. So I was left in the middle of the museum lobby, by the elephant and wishing I had stayed home to do my laundry. I kept checking my watch and it seemed, at the time, like he had been in there forever. I started to think about how I could escape, just walk right past that elephant and out the door. It was that easy, just leave. You don’t owe this guy anything, he was boring. Just leave… The next thing I knew I was running past all the school children, practically pushing them out of my way like George Costanza and I was out the doors.

It was at that point that I thought what a bad decision that was. How once that poor guy gets out of the bathroom he is going to wonder what on earth happened to his date. How it might scare him away from dating anyone for a little while. But after I was outside, the smell of freedom was intoxicating. Plus, it would have really sucked to have had to explain to Fry why I was walking through the entrance again. So I went home, feeling slightly bad but only for a bit. By the time I made it home and explained why my date was over to my parents. The phone rang. It was Fry. My mom made me talk to him (something about feeling bad for the underdog). I apologized and tried to make the situation sound reasonable. His response was what really erased all regret from my mind. He scolded me! O.K. I know I had just run out on the guy, but I was young, internet dating was very new, potentially dangerous and my apology (I thought) was very well grounded. After he scolded me and tried to make me feel guilty enough to go out with him again or something. I pretty much told him “I don’t know you, I don’t owe you anything and you can’t scold me you aren’t my mother. Bye!”

Now that everyone thinks I’m a cold hearted devil…. No seriously, I do feel bad about how I handled that situation, but I can’t change that now and it only makes for a funny story ten years (or more) later. Please tell me any funny/bad dating stories you might have. They don’t even have to be from DC. I know people have them and we can all bond over our experiences.