Monday, June 18, 2007

Changes

A year ago yesterday, I received an email that changed the direction I thought my life was going in. That might sound a bit drastic, but it is true.

Last year, I was in love with my then boyfriend and had reached a point in a relationship I had never been before. First, I had never dated someone for 9 months (don't laugh) and secondly, I started to think about being married to him and it made me happy. This wasn't a one sided relationship either, he said he loved me as well and his actions only helped to support that. He got to know my family. He even spend 24 hours in a hospital waiting room with my family waiting for my sister to have her baby. I was head over heels. A month after that I got an email from him, breaking up with me. It was like The Post It break up, only better worded and more painful.

I tried contacting him after I received the email, I even responded to his email and tried not to sound too pathetic. But nothing happened, I never heard from him again. It didn't help that he lived in a whole other country, so running into him was never going to happen. I wanted so badly to have an explanation for what had happened, better than what he wrote in his email. I had just talked to him the previous weekend for over two hours and things seemed fine. To have someone stop loving you within a week is a little disheartening. I was severely depressed for a while and then only slightly depressed after that. I used to cry on my way home from hanging out with friends and after happy hours. I felt lonely and empty inside. Spending time with my extended family only made things worse, since I am the only single girl over the age of 25, other than my 60 year old aunt.

Now that a year has gone by, I would like to say that I'm super happy, in love with someone new and my life is fabulous. But I can only say that I'm happy and that my life is pretty good, which I guess is close enough to fabulous for now. As for the guy situation, I have only recently felt like dating might be enjoyable. I haven't had a date since last year, if you don't count the one lunch "date" I had back in November, which I don't.

Being single can suck at times, but I think I would still rather be single and happy than married and miserable. And I guess if things had worked out the way I thought they were going to last year, maybe I wouldn't have been happy.

Or maybe I would have.

1 comment:

sripada vallaba said...

Hi,
I am Kiran from India. I read your
postings.your feelings came from your heart. can we becomes as good friends